My rebuilt kitchen bench

Recently I accidentally poured boiling water on my timber bench top. It buckled and warped and bits of timber fell off. I had to take all the pieces off, glue them down again, sand them, putty the gaps and apply several coats of varnish.

At the time it struck me that this whole process was like a metaphor for what I was going through with my current work in progress.

I have written the first draft of my YA psychological thriller, but at the moment it’s just a series of actions on paper – a plot expanded into 60,000 words. It’s telling a story, but it’s not really showing one – it’s not going to draw the reader into the main character’s world – at least, not yet.

I need to pull my manuscript apart and re-glue it so that the plot is stronger and the conflict is more powerful. I need to fill in the missing bits and to polish it till it shines.

If you read my blog post, 2012 – The Year of Possibilities and Learning, you’ll recall that one of my major goals for this year was to learn  - to hone my writing skills. Writing is a lifelong apprenticeship and I don’t believe you ever stop learning. This was confirmed for me at last year’s LA conference when I saw bestselling authors sitting in on the workshops of other bestselling authors.

Molly goat goes camping

In pursuit of my ‘learning goal’, I started 2012 by doing an Active Setting course with Mary Buckham – and it was amazing. Setting has never been one of my strong points. It has always been something I put in my work to help the reader visualise where they were, but thanks to Mary, I realised that setting has to do so much more.

It has to:

• orient the reader in the story.
• evoke feelings, images and emotions for the reader. In other words, have sensory detail.
• show character
• be part of  the conflict in the story
• how back story
• reflect the main character’s point of view
• show the emotions of the main character in response to conflict and action

I’m feeling so inspired after doing Mary’s course.

With my new understanding of setting, I believe my writing is so much better:)

Scene from Chapter 9 of my WIP



BEFORE


Someone was definitely following me.

After the movies we headed to the Pancake Parlour and ordered our usual short stack and a thick shake.

Next we had a game of chess, another routine instigated by Jess. She  was a whizz at chess, so Steve and I always teamed up against her, but  we still never won. We lived in hope that it might happen one day.

AFTER


As we walked through the darkened street, the half moon flicked a  Hansel and Gretel path through the trees.

A moth fluttered past my ear.  As I shook my head, the rustle of my hair seemed amplified.  My fear caught between the strands. I stopped and the footfalls behind me stopped too. I resisted the urge to glance around.

“Come on.” Jess pulled me towards the Pancake Parlour and we ran  
inside.

As we escaped the cool air, our breath came in dragon bursts, like smoke.
Jess took her usual seat in front of the chess table. Steve and I  
squashed in together on the other side of the wooden booth.

What have you learned recently that’s going to change the way you write?

I’d love you to share with us in the comments section of this post.

FRIDAY FEEDBACK

Don’t forget, if you’d like feedback on 150 words of your manuscript, send it to me, Dee*at*deescribe*dot*com*dot*au For more information, check out Friday Feedback

Happy writing:)

Dee 

Thanks to Ben Marshall who is our first volunteer to send in his work for Friday Feedback. Well done, Ben. I know it’s not easy to send your work ‘out there’ to be critiqued, especially in a public forum.

Ben’s book is a dark YA adventure series set in the near-future. It tells the tale of a tight-knit circus surviving on wit, talent and crime – and how the young hero finds he cares enough about those he loves to fight for them.

BEN’S QUESTION

I’d love to know if this beginning prompts intrigue rather than confusion in the reader.

The Pricking of Thumbs.

Tog looks after the elephants and the car thefts.  Mala and Milosh throw the knives and threaten people.  Spod’s the engineer and terrifies kids with his clown act.  The Fazio family do highwire, acrobatics and burglary.  Madam Tracey tells fortunes, writes up people’s wills to certain other people’s advantage and does the blackmails.  Professore does card tricks, makes poisons, and converts stray normals for the freak show.  I do the murders.

Ben, I love the names of your characters and this paragraph has an intriguing last line and you sound like you have plenty of possibilities for conflict in your story.

There are a lot of interesting elements here, but what you have at the moment is a ‘story about a story’. What I mean here is that you are telling your story rather than showing what happens, allowing the action to unfold for the reader.

I think you have realised instinctively yourself that this start is a bit confusing and that’s because you have introduced so many different characters in the first paragraph and not introduced the main character till the last line.

If this were my story, I would sprinkle these characters throughout the story more. Allow the reader to get to know them through their actions and through things that happen in the plot.

Here’s what I mean.  

Milosh’s knife whistled past the woman’s left ear and landed in the dirt at her feet. “Give me your hand bag,” demanded  Mala, holding out her long slender fingers.

See, here the reader gets to know your characters through their actions and dialogue.

I hate murdering people.  I asked the Patronne for one of the elephants but he said everyone had to do what they’re good at.  I said I’d murder him.  He just laughed and reminded me we all got our place in the Scheme of Things.

Ben, have you thought about starting your story here? “I hate murdering people” is a great opening line. Then instead of saying”I asked Patronne…”, show it.

For example,

“Why can’t I look after the elephants, try something new?”

Patronne sneered as he flicked the rope over the tent pole. “Everyone has to do what they’re good at.” He handed me a gun. “Now go do your thing.”

Ben, can you see how adding some actions and dialogue (getting your characters to talk to each other) draws the reader into the story more?

What I really like about this second paragraph is that your character’s voice is coming through strongly. I’m getting a sense of who your character is and that’s what I need to do early in your story. Right from the start, your character needs to engage the reader.

I don’t like Professore neither.  He converted a lost girl I liked into a Nightingale.  Nightingales is what we call the ones what do music after they been converted.  It’s all they can do.  Lucky they can’t think straight no more….

Once again, Ben, if you show these things happening, it will bring the story to life for your reader.

I hope you’ve found these comments helpful, Ben. If anyone else has constructive feedback for Ben, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

Do you have a 150 word piece you’d like feedback on?

Email it to Dee*At*Deescribe*Dot*Com*Dot*au

Happy writing:)

Dee 

Today, I’m thrilled to welcome Australian YA author Aimee Said to DeeScribewriting.

Aimee is going to talk about her book, Little Sister and explain why it’s important to talk to your characters and listen to what they have to say.

ABOUT LITTLE SISTER

Allison Miller is counting down the days until her overachieving elder sister, Larissa, finishes Year 12 and leaves their school for good. Then, Al is certain, people will finally see her as more than just “Larrie’s little sister”. But when rumours start circulating about Larrie and her best friend, and Al has to decide whether to support her sister or distance herself to protect her own reputation.

HOW GETTING TO KNOW YOUR MAIN CHARACTER HELPS WITH PLOTTING

When I started writing my second novel, Little Sister, I felt pretty confident. I’d been thinking about the story for six months, I thought I knew my characters well and I had a basic plot outline. It should’ve been a recipe for success but somewhere around the 20,000 word mark – a third of the way into the book – I got stuck.

It wasn’t that I’d run out of ideas, just the opposite: I had loads of options for what could happen to move the characters from Point A to Point B in the plot, but I couldn’t decide which would result in the best story. I thought if I just kept writing the story would sort itself out. But the more I wrote the further I got from my original outline, until I’d bypassed Point B altogether, arrived at an unplanned Point C and was hurtling towards a conclusion that I didn’t know would be an unsatisfying end to the story.

I was now about 45,000 words and six months into writing. I knew something had gone drastically wrong and I knew I had to fix it, even though the idea of wasting all those words and all that time made me feel sick. So I stepped away from my computer and thought about it. And thought about it. And thought about it. Weeks later I was still thinking about it when I realised that I’d been so focused on what was going to happen that I’d lost sight of who it was happening to and how they would react (which would drive the next stage of the plot). I needed to get back in touch with my characters – especially my narrator, Al.

So I wrote a letter. Or rather, Al did. I looked back over all the notes I’d made about her: personality traits, likes, dislikes, dreams and fears, until I felt like I’d reconnected with her. Then, channeling my inner Al, I imagined her telling the story of what had happened to her over the past six weeks (the period that the book is set over). The letter took three hours to write and covered 10 pages. At the end of it I had about two paragraphs per day that the book is set over, describing what Al thought were the most significant events. I had my plot – the whole thing. More importantly, it was written in Al’s voice, with her reactions and her leading the action.

I did have to go back and delete about 20,000 words, but after writing that letter I was so in touch with Al and what she’d been through that I actually wanted to start again! Best of all, in telling me her story, Al mentioned a few things that I hadn’t known about her, that became subplots in the book.

It was a hard earned lesson, but what I took away from those torturous few months was that sometimes you have to let your characters lead the story. Trust them, they usually know what they’re doing.

Thanks Aimee for sharing this experience with us. Getting to know your main character is so important isn’t it?

If I’m stuck, I often interview my main character to find out what is going to happen next. I’d love you to share any tips on how you get to know your main characters. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments section of this post.

Happy writing:)

Dee

P.S.

Today, author Janice Hardy has a great post at her blog about how characters fit into your story. Here’s the link: http://blog.janicehardy.com/2012/01/whats-their-story-discovering-front.html. Just another good reason to talk to your characters:)

 FRIDAY FEEDBACK STARTS THIS WEEK

Also, this Friday, we start our Friday Feedback at this blog. Here’s how it works:

1. You submit 150 words of a story and you can ask a writing question about your excerpt.
2. I post my feedback to this blog.
3. Other people can comment on the feedback as well.

Don’t miss this Friday’s first post offering feedback on Ben Marshall’s new YA adventure.

If there was nobody to read our books we wouldn’t experience the pleasure and true honour of having someone read, interpret and enjoy what we have written.

I grew up in a household where books spilled over into every room, where you couldn’t walk more than a few paces before you came to a bookcase. Everyone loved books in our household. They have always been talked about, and I remember being read to from a very young age and being taken to public libraries every week.

But some people aren’t so lucky. They don’t have exposure to books on a daily basis, and then there are those who struggle to read; who have never been taught or who have struggled with an education system that doesn’t allow for their learning differences.

According to the National Year of Reading, a staggering 46% of Australians can’t read newspapers; follow a recipe; make sense of timetables, or understand the instructions on a medicine bottle.

HOW I ENCOURAGED MY KIDS TO READ

1.  Read to them before they were born and even read books together as a family when me kids were in upper primary school. You can continue this even further if you want.

2.  Bought books as birthday presents…or any kind of presents.

3.  My husband and I made time to read ourselves so that our kids could see reading being modelled.

4.  Made family trips to the library a treat – like a family outing.

5.  Gave my kids autonomy in books they chose.

6.  Helped my kids choose books according to their hobbies and the kinds of things they liked.

7.  Gave books as treats or rewards instead of chocolate or money.

8.  Incorporated books and reading into our lifestyle.

9.  Left reading materials where they could be easily accessed; books on the coffee table, newspapers at breakfast etc.

10. Encouraged my kids to have a book to read during television ad breaks (instead of fighting with each other).

11.  Did research so that when my kids ‘couldn’t find anything to read’, I always had something to fill the gaps.

12.  Encouraged reading to be a habit – something that was done at the same time every day – like brushing teeth.

13.  Allowed reading time before sleep so that even if they were in bed at 7.30, they were allowed to stay awake for an extra half an hour to read – that way reading was a treat.

14.  Read books my kids liked even if they weren’t the sort of thing I preferred to read – that way I encouraged them to be open minded about what they read and it also meant I could have a fun discussion about the book with them.

15.  Had special book shopping days where my kids could choose to buy a book as a treat for something they had done well.

16. Made books a part of our life in every way possible from the day they were born.

WHAT’S ON DURING THE NATIONAL YEAR OF READING

During the National Year of Reading there will be heaps of great projects to encourage reading and writing. Some of the great events planned include:

• It’s Never Too Late…To Learn to Read
• Creative Reading Prize
• Writers in residence
• Festival of Indigenous Reading, Writing & Storytelling in Darwin
• Local library membership drives
• The Reading Hour

More about these projects is available on the love2read website.

The National Year of Reading also supports the Indigenous Literacy Foundation and the Pyjama Foundation which “makes it possible for Pyjama Angels – volunteer members of the community who work with children and Australia’s foster families – to read every day to thousands of children in care.”

During 2012 I’ll be donating 10% of my fees from author school visits to these worthy causes and to organisations that support children with learning differences.

To find out how you can support the National Year of Reading and help turn our country into a nation of readers, visit the National Year of Reading website.

I hope you will get behind the National Year of Reading too.

Dee

To tell you the truth, I haven’t been back to revisit my goals. The thing about writing goals is that they’re not easily measurable. You can’t say, I’m going to have a book published this year (unless it’s been scheduled) because there are so many factors that are out of your hands.

So, when it comes to writing goals, I look at them more as a means to get me to focus on what I want to achieve for the year.

I guess it’s a bit like doing an elevator pitch. If I can’t contain my goals to a paragraph then chances are I’ve made them too complex and that makes them hard to achieve.

So, if I could sum up my goals for this year, they would be to make the most of opportunities and learn as much as I can about my craft.

2012 is going to be my Year of Possibilities & Learning.

I have a number of manuscripts polished and ready to go. So this is going to be my year of getting them ‘out there’, of biting the bullet and being brave, and submitting. (They are my possibilities)

It’s going to be my year for exploring new genre, for trying my hand at things I’ve never tried before; different ‘points of view’, different styles and new skills. See, I’ve probably set too many goals already, but when it all boils down to it, it’s about honing my skills and working harder at becoming a better writer.

So this is the process I’ve gone through to work towards that goal.

1.  Look at the things I’m not so good at – the things that always seem to come up when I’m having my work critiqued. I’m going to share them with you.

The Things I could Do Better:

1. story beginnings
2. story endings
3. simplifying plot
4. exploring setting and developing it more
5. strengthening my characters by focussing on the things they don’t say.
6. avoid word repetition

2.  Buy books that can help me. I know I’m going to have to work hard at these things. Two books I’ve bought to help me are Martha Alderson’s, ‘The Plot Whisperer’ and mary Mary Buchkam and Dianna Love’s “Break Into Fiction’, so I’ve got a bit of light reading planned this summer:)

I also got some fabulous tips from Michael Bourret at the SCBWI LA conference last August..and the fabulous Ellen Hopkins.

3.  Enrol in short courses like Mary Buckham’s Master Classes online on Active Settings and Body Language and Emotion.

It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like these online courses so I’m very excited. I’ll be sure to share what I’ve learned.

My US author friend, Laura Elliott has decided that 2012 will be her Year of Just Do it!

My Australian author buddy, Karen Collum seems to have the ‘measurable writing goals’ thing worked out. You might like to read her blog.

Hope you have a happy and inspirational year in 2012. I’d love to hear about what you have planned for this year.

Happy writing:)
Dee

As you can see, I’ve spent some time overhauling this blog. I wanted to make it more user friendly so it would be easier for you to find information on particular writing topics. I hope you like the new ‘look’. Feedback is always welcome.

To celebrate, the DeeScribewriting Blog refurbishment,  I’m also introducing a new segment on Fridays. As I writer, I know how hard it is to get constructive feedback or to ‘ask that writing question’ you’ve always wanted to ask.

That’s why I went to the SCBWI LA conference in August – looking for clues about this writing business – to get answers to my burning questions about writing. Sometimes you just have to take the risk – take the leap – when the light turns green, move boldly into the fray.

I’m introducing a Friday Feedback segment where you have the opportunity to get FREE feedback on a piece of writing or ask your burning question about writing.

I know it takes bravery to put your work out there, but I’ve found it can be really useful to find out how others interpret what you have written, and the meaning they get from it. I always learn something valuable from the experience. If you’re game to submit your work, I’m happy to read it and share what I know.

FRIDAY FEEDBACK

Here’s what you do:

1. Submit your question or a piece of writing (up to 150 words) to me by email: Dee*At*deescribe*Dot*com*Dot*au

2. I will notify you by email about when your piece/question will be published. (If I don’t feel I have the expertise to handle your query, I will try to find someone who does).

3.  Your piece with my suggestions will be posted to this blog on a Friday, and other blog readers will also have the opportunity to provide feedback.

Be bold, be brave, it’s worth it to get feedback on your work.

Any questions? Feel free to ask them in the comments section of this post.

I look forward to reading your segments:)

Happy writing
Dee:)

At the moment, I’m deeply immersed in Christmas shopping, in choosing the perfect presents for the people I love.

As always, books are a major part of my shopping list and I get a tingle of anticipation when I think of how the readers are going to love the books I have chosen for them.

Today I was spending time gift wrapping said books, and it struck me what a truly extraordinary gift writing is.

Writing is a gift that is both given and received. It’s a gift we’re born with and it’s something that grows with us if we nurture it. Sadly, it’s something that some people don’t get to experience which is why we should support important initiatives like the Indigenous Literacy Project.

Writing is an amazing gift that we can give to others. The stories we create can make people laugh, make them cry, inspire, inform, entertain and educate – so many wonderful things we can do for others with our words.

What we write can help readers empathise with our characters, it can help people going through hardship by letting them know that they are not alone, that what they are going through isn’t their fault, that there’s a way out.

We can use our writing to share things with readers that they wouldn’t otherwise experience.

Whatever form our writing takes whether it be paper or electronic, words are a precious gift.

So if you’re a writer, look after your gift, share it well and allow it to help you become the person you want to be.

Thanks for following my deescribewriting blog this year. May you have a safe and happy Christmas and a year ahead that’s full of inspiration and great reading and writing.

Dee

xx

P.S. If you have some spare writing time over the holiday break, you might like to enter one of the writing competitions at my Writing Classes For Kids blog. December’s theme is scary stories. January will be fantasy stories.

pieces of Letters to Leonardo plot

Last week I added all the missing bits to my NaNo story, The Gathering, I fixed plot inconsistencies, scenes out of order and I developed a time line. You can read about it here.

This week it’s time to move onto plot. This is when I go right back to where it all started – when I brainstormed and plotted my novel before I’d even written the first word.

This is where I go back to my brainstorming on butcher’s paper and my rough plot arc. It’s where the notes I made while writing the novel also come in handy.

This is where I add new plot points and fix those that aren’t working right. Sometimes I remove plot points that are slowing the story down or complicating it too much.

At every new draft I re-examine the plot and try and be ‘objective’ about the structure. Having the whole plot on a piece of paper in front of me helps me get my head around the whole story and identify what’s working and what’s not.

I start to link my brainstorming balloons according to theme and this helps me identify whether my themes are coming through strongly enough. This helps me see the weight I’ve given to each plot thread/theme. I work on the ones that need more emphasis and scale back the ones that have become too prominent.

The diagrams I have shown relate to my book, Letters to Leonardo not my current work in progress.

Sometimes there is too much happening in my plot and I  realise I need to get rid of some of the complicating factors and look deeper into the main plot points and develop them more. Janice Hardy has a great post about looking deeper in to plot. It’s all about looking into how the action relates to your protagonist.

Adding more pieces to the plot during revision

In this week’s editing I will look at the main pieces of action and ask myself:

1. Have I built up the tension enough?
2. Do the plot points advance the story logically?
3. Do the plot points reveal character and build towards the climax?
4. Is the climax big enough?
5. Have I thrown my characters deep enough into conflict? (I’m someone who avoids conflict in real life and I have a tendency to let my characters do the same.)
6. Will the resolution be satisfying to the reader?
7. As The Gathering is the first in a trilogy I need to also look at whether it stands alone as a story and whether it can lead on to the next book.

During revision I step back and look at overall plot

In future editing I will be looking at whether the plot reflects the motivations and needs of my characters – whether what they do reflects who they really are.

Next week in the editing process I’ll be looking deep into character and voice. Hope you can join me then.

I’d love to hear how you rework your plot during the editing process. Feel free to share your tips and experiences.

Happy writing and editing:)

Dee

Wondering where to start editing your NaNo novel?

I’m going to share the processes I use, but like with all writing practices, some might not be what works for you. Feel free to leave your questions or share your tips in the comments’ section of this post.

POST NANO

By the end of NaNoWriMo I had 52,700 words, but at the moment, that’s all they are…words. The story arc is there and I have my main characters and my setting but there’s a lot to do before it becomes a cohesive story.

As I mentioned last week, while I was writing my NaNo novel I made a lot of notes about things that needed adding/deleting/fixing.

Here are some of the problems I identified.

1. plot inconsistencies
2. scenes in the wrong order
3. inadequate setting detail. Need to establish the location of certain things and keep it consistent
4. Fix time and place inconsistencies
5. Insert some plot clues earlier – use foreshadowing
6. Address character inconsistencies
7. Develop character’s reactions and emotions

I have a list of things that need to be added and that’s what I’ll be focussing on this week.

At the same time, I’ll be developing a time line. This is really important in any plot. To do this, I’ll use a Calendar and insert the relevant events on the appropriate days of the month. This is probably something I should have done as I wrote, but under the pressure of NaNoWriMo I was reluctant to stop to fix anything or take note of details. I find this slows the momentum of my writing and can stop me from moving forward.

If I get all that done, I’ll be happy. In next week’s editing and post, I’ll be going back to my brainstorming diagram that I did before I even started writing the novel and looking at things I can do to develop plot and sub plots and make connections that will add layers to the story and develop the themes.

So these are the next stages in the process that I’ll be talking about in coming weeks:

1.  Revisiting my original brainstorming and plot diagrams and seeing how they can be developed.

2.  Looking at plot

3.  Examining characters and voice

4. Doing a scene by scene edit

5.  Doing a detailed line by line edit to spot typos and make the language work harder.

6.  Showing the ms to my crit buddy and reworking the ms according to her feedback

7. Leaving the manuscript to sit for at least a month before I print the whole thing out and read it again.

Good luck with your NaNo edits. I’d love to hear how you work post NaNo.

Happy writing and editing:)

Dee

My husband grew a moustache for Movember, and I wrote a YA dystopian thriller for NaNoWriMo. It’s a very rough first draft, but it has a beginning, a middle, an end and characters I have got to know well and become attached to.

As I said in a previous blog post, NaNo for me is not about the word count, it’s about setting writing goals, reinstating good writing habits and falling in love with being a storyteller all over again.

It’s about the weeks and months after NaNo when I will add all the bits and pieces that will turn it from a NaNo first draft into a novel.

I had so much fun working on my 2011 Nano project. I didn’t participate in NaNo forums or chats so much this year because I had so many family things happening at the same time.

The way I do NaNo is the way I usually work. I write and keep writing. I don’t stop, I don’t look back and I don’t revise. I get the story out of my head and onto the paper or computer screen. I have to empty the clutter from my brain to get to the crux of the story, to be able to look at it objectively and see what needs attention.

As I’m writing, I realise there are things I’ve left out, things that need to be expanded on, things that don’t need to be there.

I don’t do any editing as I go but I make heaps of notes about:

• setting detail
• plot clues/foreshadowing
• character’s emotional responses
• plot inconsistencies
• character traits/habits
• plot and setting practicalities
• physical descriptions and artefacts that relate to the plot
• scenes that need developing more
• scenes that link one piece of action to another
• linking relevant character knowledge
• tension building
• technologies and plot devices
• reminding readers about turning points
• detail about procedures/processes/schedules/habits
• reordering things

I usually spend the first week after NaNo doing all the things I didn’t get done in November and becoming reacquainted with my family again. Then I move on to the next draft.

What do you do with your NaNo draft? Do you shelve it or do you start rewriting straight away.

I’d love you to share your experiences and any tips you have for redrafting.

Happy writing and I hope you achieved your writing goals for November.

Dee:)